Interviewing can be a delight or a strain, but the strange thing about interviewing is that even the best recruiters have bad days at the office, don't we? You know how it goes - try as you might, you can't get past first base in terms of trying to open up the candidate and gaining much needed rapport. It is at times like these when you are struggling that it is worth reminding yourself of two very simple basics of interviewing and, it would be true to say, of any communication. First, use the same language as the person you are speaking to. Secondly, it is not what you say but how you say it.

Let us discuss the first point: using the same language. There are two things you can consider here. People buy from people who are like themselves. That means, in the sense of language, the subconscious process of accepting people who talk the same language and therefore, in its simplest form, try to replicate the choice of vocabulary that your candidate uses. So if he or she uses words such as 'blue-chip,' 'corporate,' 'CEO,' 'MD,' 'sales strategy' or whatever, then when you ask them questions or clarify statements you should also use the words 'blue-chip,' 'corporate,' 'CEO,' 'MD,' sales strategy.

Next, consider whether the candidate is an auditory, visual or tactile person. Listen for a language pattern that homes in on a preference for one of these. As examples, auditory people use words such as: 'listen,' 'hear,' 'speak' and 'tell' more often than a visual person who will use: 'look,' 'view,' 'see' and a tactile person who will prefer: 'touch,' 'feel,' 'comfortable.'

The easiest way to start to gain rapport if you feel that by the sound of things the situation is looking grim is just to start repeating some of the points the interviewee is saying back to them using their language and words. So if he or she says 'I raised overall sales by 10% last quarter' you say 'so you raised overall sales by 10% last quarter - that is interesting - tell me more.'

Let us now talk about point two: it is not what you say, but how you say it. I am sure you are aware that effective communication is made up of 55% body language, 38% of how you say it and just 7% of what you say. Believe me, if you are not interested in the conversation, your interviewee will pick up on that very quickly. By the same token, if you do not put feeling and enthusiasm into describing your client opportunity, then do not be surprised when they say no.

Do not get caught out by your candidates. Remember, it is not what you say to your candidates but how you say it.

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